i just google imaged poop.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize