Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I smell like Dick and happiness
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