I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
