I'm jealous of your bromance
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
