We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We don't watch enough power rangers
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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