there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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