just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
