Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
