That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize