Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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