And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
