her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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