Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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