as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
