I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
