He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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