did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
