Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
