Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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