I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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