Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
