i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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