Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
