he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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