we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize