I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
