So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
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