i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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