So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
