I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
