rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
well most of my day revolves around power hour
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
