During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?Â
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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