Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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