You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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