In the future we'll all be gay
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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