Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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