Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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