well you can't waste a boner
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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