You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
