everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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