Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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