i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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