Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
