I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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