That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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