you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
This baby is an asshole
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
