Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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