thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
