It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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