Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
