halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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