Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
