Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
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