AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
