She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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