she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
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My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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