belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
try to milk me bitch
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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