i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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