If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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